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Posts Tagged ‘Boys’

Okay girls, let’s talk about guarding our hearts. Before I lose you, hear me out on this. I, of all people, need to hear this and I hope it will be just as useful to you. I think we go through relationships thinking, that we are guarding our hearts, when we really have no idea how to. We don’t see the difference between telling ourselves we need to guard our hearts and actually guarding ourselves. If you are anything like me, you are not even sure of how long you are to guard your heart and to whom you are to guard it against. This blog post will not give you all of the answers, shooot, it might not help you at all; but it certainly gave me some thoughts to pray through. I only hope it does the same for you whether you are a female, male or a unicorn.

1. Not a 4.0 so far?

I hate to be the one to break it to you. But we have this heart to guard and we cannot get out of it. We are told it’s the very center of us. (Psalm 4:23) But how do we possibly guard it against the breeze we desperately open the window for? If you struggle with this the same way I do, you feel as though you are being graded with an “F” in guarding your heart these days. Whether you are single or in a relationship, you have to do it. You think (or rather convince yourself) no guy will ever be captivated by me and as soon as one nearly grins at you, you prepare a four course meal with the night’s special a-la-heart. How can we possibly help ourselves from giving our hearts so freely when we don’t even notice we are? I mean, we are girls (no offense).

2. All that advice you are given-What is a girl to do?

Between the, “Guard you heart, let him chase you, control your emotions, be patient, and he should pursue you” isms, you don’t even know what to do anymore. Between the silly advice your friend’s give, the little tid bits of wisdom you receive from ghosts of courtships past, and the will of God, you have a lot to decipher. We place so much emphasis on what others tell us. As soon as something big happens, we tell someone! I know for me, as soon as something comes up I run to text a friend about it, rather than praying. What’s so wrong about that? I don’t even give myself time to guard my heart and unfortunately, our friends are not always so helpful in that! The most important advice I have for you, pray! Even when you don’t feel like it, even when you don’t want to. Submit to God’s will. Place his desires above your own. Easier said than done, I know!

3. Finally, how do you really guard your heart?

To be entirely honest, I don’t want to guard my heart. I want to give it away. That is what I was made for. But I have it backwards, I was never meant to give my heart away to man (nor woman). I was created to give my heart to God. Wholly and always to Him. So if you feel the same way, how do you guard your heart when you want to, but have no desire to at the same time. You guard it with scripture. Do you spend more time thinking about the man of your dreams, or the man in your life, than you do thinking about the one who loved you first? Afterall, it says in Deuteronomy to love the Lord your God with all your heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5) It doesn’t say with a fourth of your heart or half heartedly.

I was in a Bible study a few weeks ago and we were talking about spiritual warfare. The verse Psalm 4:23 came up in our workbook which says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” I was struggling particularly that day, with guarding my heart and understanding how to guard it. Then it all suddenly made sense. Here we were talking about knowing scripture to stand against the enemy, when I realized scripture can be used for so much more. I have always loved the verse where the Psalmist says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119:11) When we know God’s word, do we not come to know God better? His heart for us has been written down and so often we don’t take the time to read it, me included! When I find myself so eagerly ready to give away my heart, I begin to remind myself of verses that I committed to memorization. When I do this, suddenly my mind is no longer on the things of this world, but focused on God.

He’s Always Enough,
Liberty

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Pretty is. Beauty does. I heard this on a commercial recently and began to think about this. I mean, what could it possibly mean? Every girl wants to be pretty. We want to feel pretty and be told we are. But what about this thing called beauty? What could that be about? I hate to break it to some of you, but its not just about a girl who loves to read and ends up in a mansion with a harry beast, its much, much more! Lucky for us, we are to be called beauty too.

Recently, I was having lunch with some friends and we were talking about relationships. I confessed that I struggled with my definition of beauty. I feel as though I don’t have anything to bring to the table of marriage. I mean, what will I be able to offer my husband one day? I can’t really cook, neither do I care to honestly. I’m not very intellectual. I can’t talk on various subjects and don’t have profound knowledge on very much. I don’t always please everyone. I don’t always wear the right thing or show up at the right time. I certainly never say the right thing or respond the right way. So what could possibly be beautiful about me? Seriously. As my confession came to a close, I expressed what I am passionate about; however cliche it may be. Its the truth. I love people. I love holding orphans in Africa. I love loving people. I love caring for and helping people. I love being there for people. I love my family. There is nothing I love more than holding babies, any babies! But that’s all I have going for me and that’s my heart. My friends began to laugh as they looked at me puzzled. They obviously knew something I didn’t.

You see, I was looking at my strength as a weakness. I was forgetting the fact that I have loved. This then reminded us of what 1 Corinthians 13 says: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I gave away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

I realized the Bible says something quite differently about the beauty I possess. My friends also helped me realize that the very essence of my beauty is incredible. In fact, these verses greatly encourage what my heart longs for. The beauty the world asks of me is meaningless, its beauty that chases after the wind. What I gained from all of this? Who gives a rats rear that I can’t tell time backwards, recite the constitution or make French cuisine. According to Corinthians, if I have not loved, I am nothing. As a matter of fact, I’m not content with being nothing. I would rather love while I can. And that my dear reader, is my beauty. So whether my hair looks a hot mess tomorrow, my clothes don’t match or I don’t end up eating that great of a breakfast due to my lack of skill; I know that beauty is defined differently for each of us, because its defined by beauty itself.

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If you care about a girl in a special way, tell her! Because one day she might not be there to listen. Neither of you will live forever. She might move across the country, find another passion to occupy her mind or give up on you.

Life is too short not to tell the truth to someone you deeply care about. She doesn’t have to be the center of your world. She’s not suppose to be. Just let her know she’s a part of it. Don’t waste time. She’d be crazy to not want to know how you feel. Man up.

Tell her if you aren’t ready and if she has any sense, she’ll wait till you both are. She should know you aren’t her Salvation. Feel free to tell her in a big way with a banner across the sky or a small way like whispering it in her ear..

And just maybe, Lord willing, something beautiful will come from you opening your heart and pursuing her. I dare you.

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