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Posts Tagged ‘Beautiful’

We did it! We are officially in Kentucky. In a few short days we will have moved into our new home completely. In two weeks I will be moving out of that same home to live on campus and hopefully we live happily ever after. But before this sounds too easy, let me give you a little piece of the in between stuff.

Let me start with saying packing is not easy and neither is moving 800 miles away. So let me share with you some of the things I’ve learned this time around:

1. Don’t bring your favorite blanket on the trip, only to have your cat poop on it, in the car, on the way…

2. Keep a good eye on your underwear because you might end up getting to your destination unsure of where all but 4 pairs have ended up…

3. Pray for patience. I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “I’m about to slap somebody,” this week. (Not something I’m proud of.) For those wondering, I haven’t slapped anyone..yet.

4. Kentucky Fried Chicken doesn’t taste better in Kentucky. This was a let down. I just miss wawa.

5. I have to remember that New Jersey is the state I USE to live in not the one I currently live in. Still working on this one in my head.. So no one ask me where I’m from for now!

Now for what’s really on my heart (if you haven’t had enough honesty from me today).

I miss my friends. I miss someone I really care about. I miss my old house. I miss my church and my pastors. I miss wawa and jug handles. I miss the beach. I miss crazy adventures with my best friends. I miss consistency and familiarity. I miss it all. I never thought these words would come out of my mouth in relation to Jersey.

Here’s a recent entry from my journal:

Dear Lord,

I feel so upset. I feel like I’m just now beginning to doubt your plan. You knew I would though; you knew I would come to this place of doubt. You knew how you would be there for me through it to. I know you will be there for me. I know I can’t ask you to make this easier for me. This wasn’t meant to be easy. I only ask that, Lord, you be ever so near to me. That I boldly and without fear walk by faith. I am yours. For who alone can save me? I love you. Draw near to me. Slow down this dance that I may find my place again.

Sincerely,
Liberty

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Pretty is. Beauty does. I heard this on a commercial recently and began to think about this. I mean, what could it possibly mean? Every girl wants to be pretty. We want to feel pretty and be told we are. But what about this thing called beauty? What could that be about? I hate to break it to some of you, but its not just about a girl who loves to read and ends up in a mansion with a harry beast, its much, much more! Lucky for us, we are to be called beauty too.

Recently, I was having lunch with some friends and we were talking about relationships. I confessed that I struggled with my definition of beauty. I feel as though I don’t have anything to bring to the table of marriage. I mean, what will I be able to offer my husband one day? I can’t really cook, neither do I care to honestly. I’m not very intellectual. I can’t talk on various subjects and don’t have profound knowledge on very much. I don’t always please everyone. I don’t always wear the right thing or show up at the right time. I certainly never say the right thing or respond the right way. So what could possibly be beautiful about me? Seriously. As my confession came to a close, I expressed what I am passionate about; however cliche it may be. Its the truth. I love people. I love holding orphans in Africa. I love loving people. I love caring for and helping people. I love being there for people. I love my family. There is nothing I love more than holding babies, any babies! But that’s all I have going for me and that’s my heart. My friends began to laugh as they looked at me puzzled. They obviously knew something I didn’t.

You see, I was looking at my strength as a weakness. I was forgetting the fact that I have loved. This then reminded us of what 1 Corinthians 13 says: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I gave away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

I realized the Bible says something quite differently about the beauty I possess. My friends also helped me realize that the very essence of my beauty is incredible. In fact, these verses greatly encourage what my heart longs for. The beauty the world asks of me is meaningless, its beauty that chases after the wind. What I gained from all of this? Who gives a rats rear that I can’t tell time backwards, recite the constitution or make French cuisine. According to Corinthians, if I have not loved, I am nothing. As a matter of fact, I’m not content with being nothing. I would rather love while I can. And that my dear reader, is my beauty. So whether my hair looks a hot mess tomorrow, my clothes don’t match or I don’t end up eating that great of a breakfast due to my lack of skill; I know that beauty is defined differently for each of us, because its defined by beauty itself.

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For the first time in my life I saw my parents exemplify, “For better or for worse.” For the first time, I understand what it means to be with someone through the beautiful and ugly, the nice and the bad. Especially the hurt and lonely times. The joyful and the exciting times. For the first time, I understand a little more about what Christ did for me. For the first time I know what I want my own marriage to be like one day. For the first time, I know that I can’t know a deeper love unless I know my heavenly Father’s love. God knows I desire to serve him all the days of my life. But do I realize that also means the man I fall in love with one day. The one I will give the rest of my life to serve. The man I will follow. The man I will promise, “For better or for worse.” What does it mean to lay down your life for her, just as Christ laid down his life for us? What does that practically look like? How can you be sure she loves you for better or for worse? How will you love him when he isn’t loving you back?

Let me explain. This past weekend my dad began having back pain. It was so bad, that he decided to go to the doctor Monday morning. He went and had an ultra sound which came up with no results. They then sent him in for a cat scan and still found nothing. A few days later we got a call saying that my dad had two kidney stones.
Now, i work, I’m taking five classes. I tend to have a social life. Other times I can be selfish with my free time. I have different things that I am struggling with right now; But while I was dealing with all the things surrounding my life. My mom was spilling out, “For better or for worse,” throughout her day. She was helping my dad walk, she sat by his side and kept him company. She made him breakfast and took it upstairs to him. She eagerly took up his responsibilities. She did what she had to do. She did all she had to do with a smile and a positive attitude. I want to be that type of women. You know, the woman Proverbs 31 describes as:

-Far more precious than rubies
-Trustworthy
-Gets up early and is not lazy with her time
-Strength shown brightly through her life
-She never gives up
-Has time for her family and others as well
-Not stressed about the future
-Speaks when it is appropriate and says only things that honor God
-Others are blessed by her
-Her inner beauty is what shines through, she doesn’t have to hide behind make up

So there it is, a lesson worth learning.

He is always enough,
Liberty Stripped of her Pride

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